I’m over thinking again, as I always do.
My attempt to open up and express my feelings always end in contradicting babble. No conclusions, more confusion.
Yet here I am attempting it again, putting myself back through a process I never liked.
Thoughts of opening up run back and forth causing a heavy fog over my thoughts limiting how coherent I am.
The constant judgement and possible conclusions cross my mind, some of them true others not, yet I shy away from your reaction to my thoughts fearful of rejection. There’s no point.
The conclusion, I’m damaged and that’s not good enough right now.
Unoriginal. Dull. Cliché.
So many words used to describe the same thing. A moment of boredom, a millisecond of ineffectiveness, a flash of uselessness. Not really useless, but nothingness, doing nothing. Yet we allow those words to be our selection when describing our life.
Seconds pass quicker than we can count whilst multitasking yet we find the need to complain when we have a moment to ourselves. We become “bored”. Seconds all counting down to the last second. So final, yet unacknowledged whilst constantly acknowledged simultaneously.
Bored. A moment to appreciate life, forever unnoticed. We feel the need to be constantly busy. Can we not enjoy the precious moments of nothing but life?
Perhaps it’s my time to sit back and do “nothing”.
Nothing but enjoy the feel of your arms around me, the sound of your heavy breathing, the beat of your heart against my back. Nothing but live my life not completing mundane tasks that are now considered necessary to have a successful day.
Nothing but everything that makes my day complete.