Untitled Thoughts- 05/01/17

I’m over thinking again, as I always do.

My attempt to open up and express my feelings always end in contradicting babble. No conclusions, more confusion.

Yet here I am attempting it again, putting myself back through a process I never liked.

Thoughts of opening up run back and forth causing a heavy fog over my thoughts limiting how coherent I am.

The constant judgement and possible conclusions cross my mind, some of them true others not, yet I shy away from your reaction to my thoughts fearful of rejection. There’s no point.

The conclusion, I’m damaged and that’s not good enough right now.

 

Self Imposed Cycle

Instant responses, long replies.                                                                                                 Extensive paragraphs, succinct lines.                                                                                               Heart felt words, hollow phrases.                                                                                                     Forced conversation.

Hoping for something that isn’t there to exist.                                                                     .           The feeling is mutual, at least that is what you say.                                                                     .        I am not being a pain, too persistent.                                                                                                         Yet days at a time can pass where not once do I cross your mind.                                                   Forgotten, left to wonder, did you ever actually care?

Instant responses, long replies.                                                                                                 Extensive paragraphs, succinct lines.                                                                                               Heart felt words, hollow phrases.                                                                                                               A viscous cycle.

Cycles can be broken. Minds can change as can feelings.