Dating

The smallest things, the shortest of words- all means more than you know.

I find myself constantly putting in more than I get out- I guess the juice is never really worth the squeeze.

You’re busy, we doesn’t mean just us, there’s no plan. Do you even care?

Refusal to be put in the same position, yet there’s a chance it all comes down to over thinking. Self sabotage. Is there even such thing as the same position when your dealing with a different person?

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1 Year

A year has passed, much like the last

Somethings missing, a piece of me

Guidance without words, a facial expression, a gesture

Now only to be imagined.

A year has passed, much like the last but different.

Confused, consumed and possibly lost in perceived madness

A year ago. Just a year ago I was happy. Funny how things can change. If I could tell the me of a year ago that in just one week your perspective on life would change. I don’t know if I would. A chance to change things? Stop time? Impossible. Now with just a few days to that fateful moment I am

Broken. I broke. Lost rational thought. Cut off something I have always had. Ended relations with people I needed. Self-destructive? Impossible, It isn’t who I am or at least it isn’t who I was. Who was I? Who am I? In need of someone to tell me, in need of discovering it on my own. Lost.

Uncontrolled questions

Life, living it but out of reach. Here, but not present. Pointless? Depends. Coping mechanisms- intoxication, pills. Sounds like that of an addict. Is life something that needs to be coped with?

Lies, you live life. Lies, life is enjoyable, fun, filled with happiness. A social paradigm. A sims world? Maybe

Mental instability? Impossible. But anything is possible, no?

I guess the point of this is, your life is meant to be yours to live but recently it feels as if I have a lack of control. Control freak? Maybe Tired? Definitely

All of this but still a fighter. Here, present and confused